Thursday, 17 October 2013

Open Mic

Last night I played at my first open mic in almost a year, it was a massive step for me. I haven't played live for a while for various reasons, but mainly confidence. But a pub in my boyfriend's village was the perfect place to get me started again. In a really relaxed setting a fair few people played some songs on the couch by the bar, I was then told to play and surprisingly, I wasn't scared anymore, I just played like I hadn't stopped. It was so relaxed and I actually had fun, something I was terrified of turned out really good.

I've been in a massive battle with anxiety for a while now. Feeling out of control is terrifying and I build up a shell to try and cope with it. I know it is easier said than done to feel better instantly or forget about something which is getting to you. 

Things can get better in time, it can take weeks, months and sometimes years. Sometimes you'll have great days, and sometimes you'll have utterly crap days where you want to stay in bed all day watching re-runs of Gavin and Stacey on the iPlayer, and that's ok. Allow yourself time to recover till you are ready to face the world again. I know I have days like that often. 
One of the most important things (as well as lots of chocolate, tea and cuddles) is to have friends and people close to you that you can trust, and you feel comfortable with, where you can show yourself and not hide away from it.

I'm trying to keep positive, at least right now I am, and I am looking forward to seeing Lissie a week on Sunday. I got to see her at Hard Rock Calling this year and she was fantastic, her music is infectious and the lyrics to her latest single struck a chord with me today. 

Livvy x


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